Can I just say that I’m completely annoyed with all the things that apparently kill you in the world!? Diet coke is the one that I’m attempting to distance myself from, but seriously, does ANYTHING not kill you eventually? I mean if you’re a vegetarian you’re gonna die from protein deficiency and diabetes from eating too many carbs. If you eat meat your gonna die from a heart attack. If you go in the sun you’ll get skin cancer but if you don’t then you’ll have a vitamin D deficiency. Your body needs sugar! Actually you’ll die from sugar! Are you eating too much salt? Oh no, wait! If you don’t have salt in your diet you’ll DIE. Some doctors recommend drinking diet soda to eliminate all the sugar that is causing obesity. Oh wait, no. Don’t drink diet soda because its made from e-coli mixed with toxic waste that some mustache twisting corporate jerk off decided to market as a joke. You will get diabetes drinking diet coke anyway and will grow a second head. Food combine! No, that doesn’t work just count your calories. Oh no no no, don’t you know you have to find out your blood type in order to lose weight? Don’t watch TV or you’ll get ADD. Wait, TV has so much information that if you’re out of the loop you’ll be like one of those weird home-school kids from the backwoods of Arkansas. Video games will make you a crazy lunatic that will inevitably make you go gun down your coworkers at the local post office. But wait, actually its been proven that video games are much like crossword puzzles and keep your brain sharp.
Okay, end rant. I’m just mad that I’m quitting diet coke (again) because its like my best frenemy. Nothing in the world is free, but I definitely felt like diet coke was my one free thing. The one little indulgence that I wouldn’t have to pay for later at my waistline. But aparently that is incorrect and not only will I die of diabetes, cancer and a myriad of other complications but more importantly it is actually making me fat. Yes fat. I have worked freaking hard to get back within 5 pounds of my pre pregnancy weight and am bound and determined to not stop. AND I want to work off the wedding pounds that I gained over the years and didn’t bother to lose before the baby. So, I won’t be happy until all the fat is shed and if that means no diet coke then so be it.
Now, this might sound really hypocritical but I’m only giving up diet soda NOT regular soda. Whaaaaat? Here’s the thing. If I drink regular soda I drink dramatically less than when I drink diet. Like 5x’s less. So this is my weening period and drinking a little regular coke during the day is taking the edge off. I’m also drinking sparkling water to give myself some kind of substitute. It helps but is so not as good.
Okay, I sound like the whiniest person on the face of the planet and I’m sure I am. But this is just how I feel right now. I thought maybe I would drink diet coke secretly (like those closet smokers) but realized that no one cares that I drink it so big whoop. And I’m the only one I’m hurting. So hopefully I can focus on looking hot and fabulous and making that the priority when I get a mid afternoon headache and a craving for a little caffeine boost. Those commerical with Taylor Swift drinking diet coke are so hard to resist though! I mean she is so cute and I feel like, “Oh, Taylor Swift is drinking diet coke and she hasn’t grown a second head from it, so I should be fine!” Taylor, you are beautiful and I’m not mad at you. You probably got paid an obscene amount of money to endorse diet coke. Beyonce on the other hand did a pepsi/diet pepsi commercial that in no way makes me want to drink it. Sorry Beyonce. Taylor won. (And Coke is waaaay better anyway…)
Alright so my last question: Is there a community support group for diet coke drinkers? It should be called DCA (Diet Coke Anonymous). If there isn’t then I’ll host it at my place. Who wants to come?