Hopes Wishes and Dreams

When I’m in a situation that I feel comfortable with a friend or family member I ususally like to ask, “So, what are your hopes wishes and dreams?” My brother-in-law Mike told me once that he knows if he comes near me that I’m going to launch into some deep conversation with him so he has to prepare. haha. Anyway, I like to figure out what it is at the core of people’s hearts. What do they really want for their life? What makes them tick? The findings are often extremely interesting. There are a lot of people out there that haven’t really given any dreams a second thought. They just want to live a comfortable life and enjoy the ride. Others have these gigantic goals that involve world travel, fame, fortune and all the rest. I don’t really think there is such a thing as a small dream or a big dream. Whatever your dream is, its your dream!

For me, I’ve always been a  dreamer. I’m always coming up with some scheme or goal to accomplish whatever it is that I’m after. And even though my dreams have changes, the core energy behind what has fueled my dreams has stayed the same. I have finally realized after years of chasing my tail that what I want for myself isn’t fame, fortune, world travel or a mansion to call my home. What I want is to really experience my life. I just want to refine myself, improve and constantly “level up.” I have no idea why this is so important to me, but it is. Whenever I master something, I create a new goal for myself before I’ve even appreciated reaching that milestone. And since I’ve learned this about myself recently its also brought about a sort of melancholy over my dreams. Because before when I would dream about something, there came that magical intoxicating infatuation with whatever the outcome would be. As if in the moment of achieving that specific dream, all my worries would melt away and I would have finally “made it.” But I’ve realized that doesn’t exist because there will always be a new dream on deck ready to make my life “perfect.”  My life is my life and it will always have problems because I keep creating them myself. If one has a goal it means that there is a perceived problem. And the only way for it to be solved is by working towards that goal. If I felt like we needed bigger place, for instance, then I’d work hard until we got it and once we got it I’d find another thing I needed (like a bigger car) and work towards that and so on and so on. There will always be a problem (life) that needs to be solved (goal). And being content with what you have doesn’t work either because then it leads to really depressing things like becoming complacent and stagnant which can only lead to therapy. So while my quest for all my current dreams hasn’t been halted by my recent realization, it has made me face a new level of maturity that I hoped I’d never have to face. And that is reality. Having dreams that are based in reality means that success will come quicker because there are no delusions or ego getting in the way. It also means that the magical moment that you hoped would happen when all your problems would disappear if you work hard enough is erroneous. The carrot is gone. In its place is satisfaction in a job well done and working hard to be a refined individual. Its not as glamorous but at least its honest. And to be fair, since having a family of my own a new magic has set in that I never expected or knew existed. So I find myself working harder than ever but having more joy in the little moments of the day. My baby makes me slow down and appreciate what is already around me. And I’m grateful. Very grateful. I guess I’ve grown up. So to end this I have to ask. What are your hopes, wishes and dreams?

p.s – After writing this I felt there was one more thing that needed to be mentioned. Many of my dreams have already been realized and life IS better and fantastic! But day to day the magic of achieving those dreams has worn off  and I seem to take things for granted. And therefore, any future dreams are really just icing on the cake. Dreams really do come true. But it takes a lot to relish in them on a day to basis. Okay, thats it for now…